Urban Sprawl

Urban Sprawl- it would be a much more appealing concept if it referred to modern, extra-cushy furniture that yuppies lounged in while watching The Voice, but alas, it makes me think about a city with a bad case of muffin top.  The more the city sprawls, the further out the wildlife has to travel.  Not travel in the sense of finding a wooded, Bambi-esque home away from me and the big, bad city...oh no.  We're talking about travel in the sense of appearing on my morning commute, en mass.
 
Each morning I cruise along the Dam Road on my way to work.  For those of you not living in the Denver metro area, the Dam Road is nothing like it sounds.  It's a road, that goes over a Dam.  It is NOT an overcrowded, bumper to bumper wasteland where punctuality goes to die.  The Dam Road is fantastic because it lets me skip the freeway drama and coast to work, with occasional thoughts of how much it would suck if an irresponsible driver hit me on the this single lane road which is hundreds of feet above the very cold-looking dam waters.  These thoughts are only occasional because, let's face it, the irresponsible and distracted drivers get up way earlier than I do.

So, there I am this morning, cruising along thinking about men who cheat on their wives with escorts, but who talk about their family to said escort, when I see a coyote.  Wiley is just standing there on the road, checking out the traffic.  I stop.  He looks at me, I look at him, we give each other the "head nod of mutual acknowledgement" and he lopes off.  I think, odd...I thought coyotes were night creatures, but maybe he is getting a late start on his lope of shame home from Coyote Ugly.

I exit the Dam Road and begin to drive past Cherry Creek State Park, where I am forced to stop (again), this time for the Party of 5 deer reunion happening on Dayton.  I sit there, staring at them, and they refuse to make eye contact.  I briefly consider honking the horn, but on my right is a middle school and I really don't want to draw their attention.  Middle schooler's like to get involved and the next thing you know, boom, you are a science fair judge.  Also, I am flashing back to the Yellowstone Buffalo Incident of 2000, where I was driving an Olds Cutless which was quickly surrounded by buffalo.  I was just dumb enough to honk at them, and these animals were NOT too shy to stare.  I had to casually put up my window as they surrounded my car.  Luckily, the long version of "American Pie" was playing, so the beasts and I had plenty of time to bond over our shared love of Chevys. levees, whisky and rye.  I didn't want to recreate this animal ambush, so I waited patiently.

On my lunch break, I ran an errand and a few minutes from my office I was roadblocked...again.  This time, prairie dogs- three of them.  At this point, I was starting to entertain the notion that I was either a soon-to-be princess who was going to get a makeover from my furry friends and they were going to handle my emails and appointments, OR that I was missing some obvious warning and, had I read my dream book more carefully in the mid-90's, I would know that I was supposed to be preparing for The Great Event, and preparations do not include returning my library books.

On the upside, if The Great Event is coming and I don't survive due to my failure to heed the warnings of nature, I know that I can spend eternity next to my local librarian with a clear conscience, knowing that Wild Man Creek was returned on time.