Name Tags

If I could have a wish, a personal, completely self-serving wish, I would wish that everyone had to wear a name tag.  Now, don't misunderstand, I am making this wish because I have been offered one for my own benefit only.  If I were making a wish without this restriction it would be for world peace, or the cure for deadly diseases, or the absence of poverty, suffering, or Donald Trump.  But this wish, the name tag wish, is just something that would make my life easier.  Everyone wears a name tag (but not with stickers like the people at Panera Bread).  Everyone, except me.  I don't wear name tags.  I don't like it when strangers say my name as though we know each other, mostly because it is entirely possible that we have met before and I just don't remember.  Also, because if you use my name, I feel obligated to use your name and then it becomes one of those awkward conversations where we both keep using the other's name when CLEARLY we know who we are talking to at that moment. 

I don't remember names, it's a fact.  You could be meeting me RIGHT NOW, we could be in a room completely devoid of distraction and you could have a voice as mesmerizing as Sean Connery, and I would already be forgetting what you said.  Instead, I'm busy thinking, "Are we going to shake hands, give a pathetic "hey" wave (which, if you think about it, is completely ridiculous when we are two feet from each other, it's not like we are trying to make sure that the other person sees us), or (shudder) is this person a stranger hugger?" 

I'm sure that wise researchers would tell me that I don't remember names because I am not invested in the conversation, that I am mentally dismissing the person I am meeting, or that I have an inability to focus.  Not true.  Actually, after we meet I will be able to tell you all sorts of things about yourself, just not your name (and really, you need to know that more than I do).  For some reason, rather than knowing what you are called in polite society, I'd rather assign an identity to you based on your appearance, voice, demeanor, the company you keep, or who/what you remind me of....heaven help you if we meet on Halloween. 

Case and point- if you look in my cell phone, you will likely see contact ids of "Not scary Dave", "Cindy? PR", "Jon don't answer at night", "Vacation Jess drunk", "Spain guy mayb dr?", and (my favorite), "Mike alhsbhism"  (Mike acts he's single but he is married).  Every now and again I get a wild hair and decided to delete people who I don't know/remember/don't want to know or remember, but then I think...do I really want to be blindsided by Mike alhsbhism?  Name or no name, the answer is no.