Rapture

Let's face it, rapture is funny.  Oh sure, it might happen, but I think that is an even better reason to joke about it now.  I'm not 100% sure where I'm going yet.  Much like the DMV, you can't know for certain which line will call your number, you can only guess and pray it won't be the one with the angry man with a unibrow.  I think I find the rapture scheduled for tomorrow to be funnier than your average rapture for one reason, billboards.  Strategic billboard placement has allowed me to rationalize all my decisions.  Coconut Mocha Frapp at Starbucks, don't mind if I do!  There's no fitness exam in heaven, and even if there were, I'm not interested in being part of the Elite Angel Forces.  12 packs of toilet paper on sale at King Soopers, why bother?  When the end is so near, who needs more than a roll?  A vacation to Central Illinois, now is the time!  I'm guessing there aren't any Midwest region ice cream parlors down "South".  So I say, embrace the end!  Celebrate!  If the predictions are wrong, all you did was enjoy yourself.  And if they're wrong, there's always next year.  Literally.